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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Stinnett, LPC

Getting Loss(t) in Your Grief

Updated: Sep 19, 2019

.We are taught how to tie our shoes, read and write, respect authority, and that going to college and getting married is the way to find happiness. However, we are not taught how to grieve the loss of our loved ones. We, at times, find ourselves wondering if we will survive the devastation that sometimes takes over us and leaves us wandering in a fog that lasts for longer periods than we desire.

There are 5, 7 or even 10 stages of grief as developed by various grief and loss experts. But if you have suffered through the loss of someone by death, separation, a job loss, or even a significant financial loss, then you know the number of 'stages' of grief feels infinite. Meeting with a professional counselor who has experience in grief and loss issues can be the determining factor in you going through your grief with some understanding of your emotions and how to get back to the difficult task of living through and beyond your pain and loss. It is not easy!

Many clients report living in a fog-like state for days, weeks and even months or years after experiencing their loss. They sometimes wear a mask to the outside world or they stop functioning altogether. In either case, the 'fog' is real. Learning appropriate coping skills and learning that there is no clear timeframe for a person to accept the the loss, deal with with anger and even guilt. No one 'gets over' a loss. They must accept and create a new normal which does not incorporate the loss they have experienced. Hope must always be in their view, despite how far that hope may be away from their current state of mind. Reaching out to a skilled mental health professional will begin the journey to healing and peace. Seeking individual counseling or attending a grief and loss group is part of the self care that is vital when recovering from any loss. Be brave and reach out to others who can help. You do not have to suffer alone. Do not suffer alone.

Lastly, despair can send someone down the darkest of paths. If you or someone you know has suicidal thoughts, please:

1) Tell a family member or friend,

2) Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline Number: 1-800-273-8255; or

3) Call your local police for help - 911


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